Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?
I’ve been deep diving into the music of my early teens. More specifically into the music my cousin loved in my early teens that I was told was bad, and I wasn’t allowed, but I loved them from afar. A lot of Paula Cole and Fiona Apple playing around here these days. One of the best sounding, but lyrically frustrating songs. I think she’s looking for some old fashioned chivalry, and a little bit of traditional gender roles, which is fine for people who want that. She says, “I will do the laundry/raise the children/do the dishes if you pay all the bills.” No thanks. I would trade. I think my husband would too, but I spent 13 years with a baby attached to my breasts, trained for a career in a state, in a denomination that doesn’t hire women, learned all the making skills and none of the marketing. Okay I am not a very good housekeeper or wage earner. My husband got a raw deal.
In any case. John Wayne was not a cowboy. He was a movie star. Maybe she means the character, the persona, “John Wayne.” And honey, he wasn’t paying anyone’s bills. I don’t know if you know this about cowboys, but they haven’t gone anywhere. They are still living in the same bunkhouses full of scorpions for subsistence wages that they were 200 years ago. They’re not really paying anyone’s bills all that well. This has its appeal for some people, but let’s be honest about it.
My sister sent me a video today of a girl saying, Bridgerton fans, you were not born into the wrong century, you were born in the wrong social class. If they started having balls again today (they are, all the time, they’re often called galas these days) you wouldn’t be invited, because you are poor. I think what people actually want from Bridgerton is the romance, which is possible, but uncommon, in any century. I have no interest in cotton candy dresses. Maybe Keira Knightly Pride and Prejudice dresses, but again, poor. What a lot of people don’t know about historical fashion is rich people’s clothes were designed nearly unwearable on purpose. If your clothes are obviously uncomfortable and you can hardly move, then everyone knows you can afford to have other people do everything for you. Bridgerton is a fantasy.
Escapism is serves a purpose in a crumbling empire. It’s great until you start importing its values into real life, because these symbols don’t represent what you think they do. So, if we’re talking about rakes and cowboys and maybe rock stars, and why women tend to fall for them, it’s an archetype. They represent rebellion. They don’t actually represent romance, because they weren’t marrying and staying married to anyone. In bygone eras where girls wanted to rebel, but couldn’t imagine a way to do it for themselves, they imagined marrying rebels. This is a fantasy that breaks down pretty fast.
Lucky for you, you live in an era where women can rebel too, but be realistic, rebels are broke. Be careful that you don’t idealize these archetypes from historical time periods and take for granted the gains we’ve made. Gains that are quickly crumbling while we are distracted. I still have these clippings from a Vogue magazine, that I collaged beyond an inch of it’s life, and I have searched in vain to find the whole article again, but even just these few sentences have been a cornerstone of my style philosophy for 25 years. We’re not with the band. We are the band.
Fashion doesn’t solve all the problems of the world, but it can empower us to embody the personas and archetypes we want to live into if we are intentional, and conscious consumerism connects us to labor and art movements, that demand a living wage and access to creative, life-giving work, and a clean environment for all people. I’m listening to and collaging these strong women because they are helping me live into the woman I am becoming who gives voice to her deep messy feelings and supports other women alchemize their pain into power and creates space connect real unconditional love. (even if not all of their lyrics have help up)